Hold on tight because this is a complicated and delicate situation. My mother brought me voluntarily on her own decision to social services when I was a child because she could not support me and the living conditions were dangerous. It was supposed to be temporary with visits, but she stopped showing up after a few months. So my adoptive parents successfully petitioned the courts to officially adopt me. I recently made the effort to find my mother to find out why she stopped coming without any warning. I found out that just a few years after she stopped coming to visits, she died in a different state. The next question that came up immediately was my grandmother. She had shown early signs of dementia and Althiemers, but her whole life had always been frank, crazy, so it was uncertain and debatable whether that was really the problem or not. After some research, I learned from my deceased mother’s best friend that my mother had left my grandmother in a nursing home. After a background check, two nursing homes came up as possible addresses associated with my grandmother’s personal information. The two addresses in different states, the two states my mother had lived in before she died, but neither the state she died in. Both care homes have HORRIBLE and TERRIFYING reviews of gross elder abuse. It wouldn’t surprise me if it’s state run or if my grandmothers stay. Is it state funded as we had very low incomes as far back as my great grandmother. I don’t want to call these places and ask if they have my grandma, I’m afraid I’ll be lied to because they abuse her more freely thinking no one would ever come sniff on her behalf. Or that she may have died and negligence may be involved in her death such that the death was never recorded to conceal and pretend she never existed in the first place. I’m in Louisiana and these homes are in Texas and North Carolina. Even though I went there personally which means I will even pass the main entrance and if I do it even with his name I don’t know if it’s safe to trust them to have the right person on the possible confusion due to negligent administration (bad reviews kept going on and on), I don’t even fully remember what my grandmother looked like, and it’s been several years, so she probably won’t be recognizable from memory . I look identical to my mother, but is said to have Althiemers and dementia, so I can’t bet she’ll recognize me based on my appearance. So what are my difficulties 1. How can I make sure that I am getting truthful information if I have to call the houses. 2. Is it possible to further verify that the patient matches the one I am actually looking for 3. HOW TO GET MY GRANDMOTHER OUT OF THE HOME TO A BETTER HOME IN LOUISIANA? I can prove my identity as next of kin and I already have to petition another state coroner to claim my mother’s remains unclaimed for years. I’m sure I can find a state program in Louisiana that can help with finances, the only thing I care about right now is her immediate transfer out of the current home she is in. I can’t bring her home, I have a 10 month old baby and I have cerebral palsy. My son could also be in danger because my grandmother was allegedly violent towards me when I was a child (of which I have an unclear partial memory). If she were in a house in Louisiana near me, from there I’m sure I’ll be able to monitor what’s going on at the house and let the presence of a curious family member hang around . I’ve done a lot of volunteering for several years at nursing homes all over town, so most of them already know me. Otherwise, I’m definitely a very formidable force to be reckoned with. So I feel like I have a lot more control over my grandmother’s safety and quality of life, and more ability to act at any time. Does anyone have anything that might help? Because I’m at the point where I just want to go into both houses and shake each room until I get the right one. Either that or just a lawyer start handing people over. Dementia, Althiemers, Crazy, and Abusive are all set aside no matter what goes wrong. I want my grandmother to be safe and I want her in front of me, and make sure that if anyone abuses or neglects her, they have to answer to me. TO HELP!